ASEXUAL EXPERIENCE: Cognizing Through Words by Alexander Wieger
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The main types of orientation are heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, and asexuality. The last one is often forgotten about.
Asexuality is a unique phenomenon that has been increasingly discussed in society in recent years. According to various estimates, asexuals make up about 1% of the population, although exact numbers can vary. Scholars view asexuality as an orientation, recognizing its legitimacy and importance in understanding human sexuality.
Research, including a 2015 survey of the asexual community, shows that only a tiny proportion (about 5%) of asexuals seek therapists for reasons related to their orientation. This emphasizes that asexuality is a natural aspect of human sexuality, not a psychological condition.
In Alexander Wiger’s short story «Everything Was Fine» from the collection «Shadow Theater», the characters reveal the vicissitudes of asexual relationships. We invite you to dive into the story, which opens new horizons of perception and understanding of asexuality.
It was all good. Such a friendly and courteous guy she had never met before. He was easy and fun to be with. The only catch was that he had never once, in the relatively long duration of their encounters, hinted at physical contact. Not that she particularly wanted to, on the contrary, but such emphasized etiquette was a little alarming. Her imagination conjured up funny and frightening pictures out of thin air.
She didn’t know how to ask him about such a thing, there was nothing to blame him for. There was no perfect option. Living in ignorance was more complicated than saying something stupid. At their new meeting, still not picking the right moment, she asked why he wasn’t hitting on her.
— I’m asexual.
She was surprised; the word was out of her world, and it was unclear if he was joking.
— Why didn’t you say it before?
— You didn’t ask.
— You’re right.
— I didn’t want to get ahead of myself.
— You don’t feel any attraction at all?
— Extremely rare and extremely weak, it can be ignored; it doesn’t affect life.
— You don’t make love at all?
— Sometimes you can, more for a partner or the birth of children, but it’s better not to be partial.
— So you don’t want me?
— No. But I want to be with you.
When she realized he wasn’t kidding, she felt as relieved as if she’d thrown off a massive backpack at the top of a mountain. The millennia-old fear that lived in women had been replaced by a trust that the strongest love could never unlock. It was as if a predator, however tame, had begun to eat grass.
She wasn’t against sex, but there was too much revolving around it for men, a backstage life that hid behind the most romantic date. And now everything he said and did wasn’t about getting her into bed; everything mattered in and of itself. It was as if a heavy blanket had been lifted over her, and she saw a blindingly bright light and was able to breathe deeply.
In a sense, he’d outplayed her. Taken away a lever she hadn’t intended to use, and now she would have to talk him down. The kind of thing where losing a little was nice.
It wasn’t love yet, but something unexpected and incredible, and next to him, she was already soaring above the ground.
POSTSCRIPTUM
The asexual flag was created in 2010. The alternating black, gray, white, and purple stripes symbolize diversity and the recognition of asexuality as a legitimate orientation.
