OH, LOVE: Emergency Medical Assistance for the «Naked King’s» Wife

Art design: huxley.media via Photoshop
ANDERSEN DIDN’T INVENT IT
Not all literary characters can boast real-life counterparts. When reading about the adventures of the kind-hearted giant Gargantua, the monster-slayer Beowulf, or the master of the magical lamp Aladdin, we don’t usually think about whom the author had in mind, whether the character resembles their description or how their eccentric nature was perceived by those close to them.
I’m sure we approach the character in Andersen’s well-known fairy tale «The Emperor’s New Clothes» in much the same way — the hero seems completely unreal, invented by the writer to grotesquely highlight certain flaws.
However, that’s not the case — the naked emperor from the fairy tale has an entirely real-life prototype, and Andersen himself was a loyal subject of this person: when the Danish King Christian VII departed this world, Andersen was just three years old!
Of course, Andersen never witnessed His Majesty leaning out of his palace window at the most inappropriate moments without any clothing, but many Danes did. Therefore, they perceived Andersen’s tale not only as a moral lesson but also as contemporary journalism, reflecting a public and well-known figure.

THE ROYAL MADMAN
The king’s mental illness was diagnosed at an early age, and it didn’t come as much of a surprise — this was expected from the son of the alcoholic Frederick V, who was rarely sober even while on the throne and eventually died during a drinking binge. Adding to this, the young prince’s tutor, Count Reventlow, would beat him for the slightest reason — or no reason at all, simply for his amusement — so it was clear that not much could be expected from the king.
He wasn’t always aggressive and possessed a rather sharp mind. He corresponded with Voltaire, who even dedicated an ode to him (well, that was Voltaire’s job). However, when he lost control, he was incapable not only of ruling the state but also of doing simpler things — such as simply avoiding scandals.
Tranquilizers would be invented two centuries later; in his time, the usual treatment for such conditions involved restraining the patient with ropes, followed by «massage» with fists all over the body until the symptoms disappeared.
This approach couldn’t always be applied to the king, so they had to tolerate him: he might bite you, and you had to smile! However, there were moments of clarity in his condition, during which he could quite reasonably sign papers where directed — «here, Your Majesty, and here». A doctor who could get the king to perform these simple actions was already considered to be doing his job satisfactorily.
THE ROYAL PHYSICIAN
However, a ruler’s duties extend beyond just signing documents— he must also ensure the continuation of the royal lineage. The king, by the way, was quite fond of this particular activity, though not with his lawful wife, the British princess Caroline Matilda, who was intelligent and far from unattractive. Instead, he preferred the company of disreputable women like Anna Cathrine Benthagen, also known as Catrine the Boot, with whom he roamed the taverns and brothels, hardly bothering to maintain any pretense of anonymity.
It was only through the efforts of the Council of State that this charming lady was sent off to nearby Holstein, complete with a generous pension. But were there not plenty of other such beauties? So, one of the court physician’s duties was to ensure that the king occasionally visited his marital bed — and the rest, well, would take care of itself…
Christian VII found himself a physician during a journey to the nearby town of Altona, where the position was held by the young, educated, energetic, and eloquent Johann Friedrich Struensee, who had already gained fame by successfully introducing the then-novel medical practice of smallpox vaccination in his hometown. He came highly recommended by the influential Danish courtier Count Rantzau, and the king took a liking to the doctor — thus, he became the royal physician!
At first glance, it seemed no significant challenges awaited him: the diagnosis was precise, expectations were modest, and as long as the king occasionally signed documents and fathered an heir, everyone would be content and demand nothing more. The matter of an heir turned out to be straightforward: his predecessor had occasionally reminded the king of his marital duties, and Caroline Matilda had already given birth to a son before Struensee’s appointment. So, his position could have been a serene sinecure — but he was not that kind of man…

AN INCREDIBLE ASCENT
The intelligent, well-educated, and quick-witted royal physician quickly became the king’s favorite — as soon as the king faced even the slightest challenge, he immediately consulted with him and almost always followed his advice. So why bother the king with questions? Ask the royal physician and do as he says!
To simplify matters, the king appointed Struensee head of the Secret Royal Cabinet and granted him the authority to issue decrees sealed with the royal cabinet’s seal — why not? He does everything right, and the king agrees in advance! Almost imperceptibly, the real power in Denmark shifted to Struensee.
The queen had no objections either — a handsome, intelligent man in the prime of life clearly attracted her more than her unstable husband, whom the royal physician occasionally pushed into her bed out of state considerations.
Since he handled everything better than the king, might he also manage the king’s marital duties better? It turned out he did — much better, in fact — to the satisfaction of the queen, Struensee, and, interestingly enough, even the king. So, is everyone happy?
THE REFORMER
Not entirely — Struensee, who had unwillingly become responsible for everything happening in Denmark, genuinely worried about its backwardness and inefficiency. The successful physician could have easily maintained the status quo and lived a comfortable life, but he was determined to improve the country.
Reformers often make enemies, but he wasn’t afraid — he had the king’s respect and the queen’s love and dared anyone to challenge him! And so, the reforms came in a flood — 1,069 decrees in just two years! Some of them only recently reached us, while others have already been lost in some countries…
A complete abolition of censorship, freedom of speech, an equal court system for all, freedom of conscience for all religions, full rights for illegitimate children… Dissolve medieval guilds with their monopolies! Ban torture and corporal punishment under the strictest terms!
No more subsidies for unprofitable industries — let them focus on what can sustain them! Hospitals for the poor at the state’s expense, medical oversight of the sex industry. Other countries fought for these changes for centuries and continue to do so today, but Struensee simply signed a decree, sealed it, and it was done!
IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE
So, what came of all this? It is not very good, unfortunately: reform is not a toy you can hand to children to play with. If the toy isn’t age-appropriate, they’ll either break it or choke on it! A reform is like a tree: it needs to be nurtured, fertilized, dug around, and watered until it grows on its own. If you try to force it to grow faster, you’ll pull it out by the roots, and that will be the end of it!
Struensee dismissed many unnecessary officials — creating a host of enemies — and then deprived them of their pensions despite their years of service: who wouldn’t understand their resentment? When the budget couldn’t keep up with the rapid pace of reform, Struensee coolly left the military without pay, which was dangerously reckless — leave a hungry man with a gun, and he’ll use it to feed himself, which others won’t appreciate!
Moreover, Struensee’s behavior wasn’t flawless: he appointed his own brother as Minister of Finance, urged others to economize while living lavishly himself, and made himself a count (formally, the decree was issued by the king, but you get the idea…), and, worst of all, he despised Denmark. He called Danes fools, didn’t learn the language, and wasn’t interested in doing so, issuing all his decrees in German. If someone petitioned the authorities in Danish, their complaints were simply discarded… You can do a lot with people, but grabbing them by the tongue is risky — they’ll bite your fingers off before you even blink… Interestingly, the king spoke Danish, while his father and grandfather did not.

THE CONSPIRACY
The king continued to trust Struensee, and the queen loved him, but the number of his enemies grew like a snowball. The reformer was particularly hated by the king’s stepmother, the Dowager Queen Juliana Maria — especially after the queen gave birth to a daughter who bore a striking resemblance to him.
The king’s brother, Frederick; his tutor, Ove Høegh-Guldberg, a master of behind-the-scenes intrigues despite being only 146 centimeters tall; Colonels Keller and Eichstedt, who despised Struensee for his policies that disregarded the military; and even Count Rantzau, who had recommended Struensee to the king — all united in their desire to cure the king of his royal physician, preferably through surgical means.
The conspirators took significant risks but dared to burst into the king’s chamber at night and explain to him that his beloved minister was currently lying beside the queen in his place. The public had learned of this, was deeply outraged, and now mobs of armed people were on the verge of causing unspeakable chaos!
There was only one way to save the situation — «Please, sign here, Your Majesty, and here, quickly, before it’s too late!» It turned out not to be very difficult to confuse and frighten the poor, mentally ill king — he had been well-trained to sign wherever he was told. It was done — the king signed, and from that moment on, he was no longer needed.
THE INVESTIGATION
Struensee was shackled. Even when he shaved, two soldiers held his hands to prevent him from slitting his own throat. The queen was placed in a cold room in Kronborg Castle, with only a single barred window. The investigation initially brandished the testimonies of several of the queen’s ladies-in-waiting — they claimed they had suspected something, spread flour on the corridors, and found male footprints leading from Struensee’s room to the queen’s chambers.
Really? How intriguing! But what’s so special about Struensee’s heels that identifies these as his footprints? And why had every single one of those ladies-in-waiting who signed this accusation been expelled by the queen and Struensee for serious misconduct?
They also uncovered a more horrifying crime that Struensee allegedly committed with his colleague Enevold Brandt. The king, it seems, had jokingly challenged Brandt to a wrestling match — how could one refuse? — and in the scuffle, the king tried to grab Brandt’s tongue, but Brandt bit him! Attacking the king was already enough for an execution, and Struensee could be sentenced as well for not reporting it — but that still wasn’t enough!
However, soon they found what they needed: 35 days after his arrest, Struensee confessed to having intimate relations with the queen! But how was this confession obtained? After such a confession, there was no way for him to escape his fate!
Perhaps he was deceived, told that they didn’t want a scandal and would be forced to cover up the matter. Or maybe they lied, saying the queen had already confessed? Or perhaps they simply used torture, which was strictly forbidden by Danish law? With this confession in hand, they rushed to the queen. «Is it untrue? Then we’ll execute him for slander! But if it’s true, we’d prefer not to blow this scandal out of proportion…» They certainly deceived her, but she signed everything. Now, it was all over for both of them.

THE END
On April 28, 1772, Struensee and Brandt were brutally executed in the town square — first, their hands were cut off, then their heads, and only after that were their dead bodies broken on the wheel (what benefit or pleasure that brought, I cannot understand). It was said that in England, more than one queen had lost her head, but when the British monarch’s ambassador, the queen’s brother, visited the palace and remarked on how the English army and navy could turn Copenhagen into a pile of ruins, and how unpleasant that would be for him…
As a result, the queen was simply sent back to England (along with her dowry). Three years later, she died of scarlet fever, swearing on her deathbed that she was innocent — what else could she have said? The reforms ended, torture was once again permitted, and the national debt doubled… Hasty reforms are worse than no reforms at all.
Struensee and Caroline Matilda paid a terrible price for less than two years of true happiness, deep emotion, and great love. He sacrificed his career and life for that love, and she her honor and title, but they had something worth paying for, something beautiful to remember even in their final moments.
This love has inspired an opera, several novels, and quite a few films, and for a good reason — everything about it is extraordinary and strange: the intensity of their feelings, the tragedy of the outcome, and the realization that perfect changes are not made this way. How they should be made, however, is a much more difficult question…
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